Vegan Elevator Speech Needed



She wasn’t so much hovering as standing close by and waiting.  I could tell she wanted the cafe table I was sitting at and since I was packing up to leave, I really didn’t mind.  After all, being in the corner near the window is a choice solo lunch spot.

“Oh, sushi,” she says as I’m gathering my empty container, “Which roll did you get?”

“Uh, cucumber with carrots.  Brown rice,” I stumbled out.

“No, I mean which kind of fish?” she asked.

“Oh, I don’t eat meat so it’s just vegetables.”

“Well, I’m a meatatarian,” she declared proudly and as if to prove her point she dropped her plate full of various selections of dead animal products covered in sauce on the table where my rice and vegetables sat seconds before.

I had no reply to “I’m a meatatarian” other than to nod my head dumbly and walk away.  I’ve only been in this role for five months or so and don’t quite feel comfortable waving the flag too much.  When it comes to chiropractic, I have plenty of quick, witty replies to the commonest of remarks.

Them: I don’t believe in chiropractors.

Me: You don’t believe we exist?  Like the Easter bunny?  Wow.

You get the idea.  I need to work on that a bit for the vegetarian thing lest I just come off as self righteous (ask my wife).  I need to work my veganism elevator speech — that 30-60 second pitch you say to sum up your viewpoint on or sell something.  I’ll let you know how that goes.

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