Instant heart attack – just add bacon. Oops, too late.

Turns out meat is the new bread.  Thanks to a loyal blog reader for alerting me to this all-in-one vegan nightmare, cardiology freak show and only in America culinary death missle that virtually punches you directly in the organs.  KFC introduced in several test markets their “Double Down” sandwich.

This “sandwich” consists of two deep fried chicken fillets wrapped around bacon, cheese and some type of sauce.  The chicken is the bread.  You heard me — instead of  bread, they use two pieces of fried chicken.  Even Robert Atkins would push this away as being just a bit too meaty, dontcha think?

The name, “Double Down” (which won out over “Double Bypass”), is linked to the chances of developing heart disease during that meal (easily doubled).  And, after signing the required medical release form KFC requires,  you can listen carefully and actually hear your own arteries hardening.kfc-doubledown

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Sad State of the Standard American Diet

grocery

I wish I could make stuff like this up.  We are fortunate enough to live within a couple of miles from Wegmans, one of the best grocery stores in the world.  And since I have recently taken over most of the grocery shopping, I am there once or twice per week in between stops at the Farmer’s market. 

Wegmans has several checkout aisle options.  In addition to the 7  or 15 items or less aisles there’s a no-candy lane and, my favorite, the natural products checkout lane.  I just feel better surrounded by natural chocolate and dried fruitrather than the latest UPC encrusted craptacular chemical bombs of nutritionally void Satan food found in the regular checkouts.  Perhaps I am a tab bit biased. 

So this week, as I awaited the obligatorily double nose-ringed cashier to ring out my newly acquired bounty, I glanced at the conveyor belt full of items placed by the woman in line behind me.  Silly of me to think that just being in the natural products lane would attract some sort of healthier customer.  I’m sure it just happened to be the shortest lane.  The irony, however, was stellar.

Garbage product after garbage product from store brand mac and cheese (a dozen boxes)  to chips to Little Debbie snactacular chemical infusions.  Then soda, next hot dogs followed by bleached white bread.  I had to chuckle at the opposition of her items that seemed to outwardly offend the Amy’s and Newman’s and Natural Wonder‘s around them.

And then I saw it.  Something that made my retinas burn.   All natural, 100% organic, hand made with no preservatives — dog biscuits.  Dog biscuits!  Yes, of course it’s nice to know this woman is treating her dog well.  Who cares what she eats as long as she isn’t mistreating an animal that cannot make it’s own decisions, right?  Did I mention she had a little girl in the shopping cart?

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